Sunday, September 4, 2011

Once again

Once again, I think I'm in love. I'm not happy though. Is there any reason to be? Right now, repentance is all over me. Repentance on the fact that if I didn't come to that event, I'd probably would not meet him and I'll not have this sort of eerie feeling. Sigh.

I'm there, in front of him, holding their (him and his thesis partner) future, literally. I always caught him looking at me. Why he'll not? He should be. I'm just imagining things that are not in other people's world. Yes, he's lookin' at me and once again, I'll insinuate that he's not staring at me; he's just looking at me for the sake of good communication. Call me nega but at least I did not assume. Sigh.

I'm his boss at that time but I feel like a servant to him. All I can do was ask his partner. I can't look at him. I mean, can you blame me? I tried to keep our eyes lined but I can't hold it for at least a second. I can't prevent his smile to make a bridge towards my mouth and do the same. And I hate it. I felt so uncomfortable because of that. Sigh.

We had passed them and I'm guilty. I'm guilty because of the fact that I did not know if I became biased to them. The session was finished and they started to clean up the area. My heart was pounding as they, especially him, start to evacuate the room. I was hoping that he'll turn back around and get my number for academical reasons but that scenario didn't made it to reality. Sigh.

My system was affected. I did flank my own expectations when I sat down to the next proponents. And finally, there they were, slowly walking in the corner of my eye approaching the door. So I said to myself, "that was it". It's already the end of the short journey of my heart. That's what I thought. Sigh.

As the time flies by, I can't concentrate on what I'm doing because of my thoughts on him. My epic "fear" again visited me so I decided to have, for me, a very shameful action. I did ask the new proponents for his number. She said out loud the things I asked her. Because of that, I think destiny did a good move 'cause I retracted my plea because of embarrassment. Sigh.

The time passed so fast and I didn't seen him again. Sadness covered my whole being. I did realize that that feeling was so wrong. I know right! I mean, I just met him hours ago and his absence made me so sad. Sigh.

I can't sleep that night. For the hours that I did seen and interrogated him, it seems like I've known him for years. Funny right. I know. I know. I'm just hoping that I'll see him soon. Sigh.

Right now, there's one thing I'm certain of. I think I'm in love. Sigh.


Keep safe guy. Godbless. :-)