Kiss My Ass

Oh, how I missed my blog! It's been three months since I posted that trash about Nancy Binay. Hahaha. What's new with me? Nothing. (Kaya nga wala akong ma-i-post. Haha!) Anyway, my life right now sucks! I'm currently on mid-shift, so my work starts at 1:30 pm and ends at 10:30 pm .I always come to the office 30 minutes early so when we're not doing anything important, I leave the office 30 minutes early too. I'm not sure how my (insert not so nice adjective here) boss will react to this. Knowing his attitude towards me, I'm sure he'll create a fuss over it. I know to myself that that's not a very good thing to do because we should follow our true shift but there's this incident that gave me the strength to continue doing this not-so-good thing. One time, I went to the bank to pay for my credit card bill  and he made my team mate to call and inform me that I am not supposed to do personal stuff during office hours. My face felt red because it's just 1pm and I'm still early for my shift. I made my team mate explain that and I'm sure he became embarrassed. Kiss my ass "Sir".

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Because of my shift, I don't have the luxury of time to go to a mall during mid-week and worse, a Friday night. It sucks when it's Friday and everyone in the office is already prepping for their dates, meet-ups and night-outs and there I am, cramming for a deadline. Because of this, me and my friends agreed that we should place our gimiks on weekends.

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I installed Grindr to my phone. Once in a while, someone messages me. They oftentime start with hi's and hello's and ends with nothing. That's the point I concluded that I'm really a boring person. Lol. It's because once they tell something about sex or dick or meetup, I suddenly become disappointed. Knowing the Maria Clara inside of me, serious and nice conversations for some time will do, then we'll go from there. I think because of that attitude of mine, I will never get a boyfriend. Hahaha. 

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Oh gosh, I've written not so interesting stuff. Hahaha. I told you, nothing interesting is going on in my life right now. Lol. 

KSGB! :-)

The Story of Nancy Binay and My Stupidity

When the first partial and unofficial vote results for the Senators flashed on our TV screen, my mouth created a really big "O" when I saw the name of Ms. Nancy Binay on the Top 5 list. I didn't vote for her. I made her inside of the list of Senators I will never vote when I read the article on sowhatsnews.wordpress.com entitled "Overconfident Nancy Dares the Filipino People: Do not vote for me". I even suggested to my family to not vote for her while telling them the things I've read.

Election came and I asked our family members if they've voted for her and every one of them answered no. Wow, my opinion really weighs for them. Maybe they've been persuaded because I'm really furious while I'm telling them about the article. News on the TV constantly showed that Nancy really was already a sure winner. I already told myself that I'm really disappointed for the people who voted for Nancy not because she lacks political background but because even though she did what the article said, they still voted for her. 

One day after the election when I encountered again the link of the article in the newsfeed of my Facebook account using my phone. I read some of the comments and I was shocked. My phone uses mobile view by default after loading the page you're accessing and it's different from the looks of a website accessed using a pc so I was not able to see the description of the blog. The comment says look on the right side of the website to view the description of the blog. I instantly accessed the site using "Request Desktop Site" setting still on my phone and there I saw, the site is just a "satirical and fictional" blog. Sorry about that Nancy. It's my phone's fault(Haha!). I froze for a moment realizing that I made a very big mistake, not to myself but to my family members that believed on what I said about Nancy and worse, they followed my suggestion to not vote for her. Anyway, I'm not sure if they'll vote for her even if that article didn't came to my path. Did I already say sorry to Ms. Binay?   

I stated that I made a very big mistake to my family but not to myself. It's because I'm still not voting for her even if I knew right before I voted that the article is a fiction. I'll not elaborate the reasons why I'm still not voting for her because people (as if I have many readers. Haha!) who voted for her will just contradict my reasons and there will be a long debate on that. I believe that every one deserves to have an opinion and a stand and let's just leave it that way and respect it.

Even though I didn't vote for Nancy, I don't have anything against her. I'm just not satisfied with her experience. Ok, my mouth's already zipped. Anyway, I am sad seeing the things other people posted and still sharing in Facebook about the jokes on Nancy's looks and personal appearance. That's one of the attitudes of the Filipinos I most hate. It's ok to say your opinion about someone but be sure it's in line to what the topic is. Having a dark color skin doesn't have anything to do with working as a Senator. Grow up Pinoys. We hurt so much on some statements of other nationalities about us but we, ourselves, bash our fellow Filipinos. We can't change the status of our country if we have that kind of attitude.

I've already said my piece. Bow.

KSGB! :-)

The Pill

It's been a while since I last visited the AP section in PEx. I was browsing the new threads when I bumped into this: http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?t=614008. I became intrigued by the thread title. "Iinom ka ba ng isang gamot para di ka na maging isang bakla?" (Would you take a pill to be a straight guy?).I was surprised to see that other readers got offended by the topic. And I was surprised even more when I realized that I'm not offended at all. Actually, I thought the topic would be full of fun. Reading it made me realize that it acted as an eye opener for me.

I'm a self-proclaimed pessimist when it comes to my future. I always think of what will my life be several years from now. Will I be rich, will I have a very successful career, will I have someone who loves me and I also love beside me and will my family stick with me through these blessings. I often have a long night thinking about these things. Thinking while talking to Him. Making Him listen to all my questions, to all my worries. I sometimes end up crying because of worrying about it.

Opinions of people about me are one of the things I value a lot. Especially opinions from the people I greatly love. I don't know if it's a good thing because it's a contrary to the cliche that you can do whatever you like, as long as you're not hurting anyone, don't think of the opinions of other people around you. But I believe it's helping to me think before I act and I think that's a very good guide in life because you may end up hurting the people you love when you're not thinking rationally before doing a stupid thing.

To answer the thread title, I'd say no, I'll not take the pill. I haven't got into deep thinking before I ended up to that answer. Right after I comprehended the question, I already got my answer. It's not really that hard to think about it. I've been  laghed at, teased, bullied and even cursed to death because of being gay. Now you're wondering why won't I take the pill. It's because of the drastic changes that will happen to my life. Even though life for me would be not hard as this one and my future will be clearer, I don't think that's enough to throw away my true self.

For me, drinking the pill means you don't love your true self, you curse your own life and worst, you don't trust Him. Even though I've experienced many hardships in being gay, I never doubted the love God is giving me. I just think that all the problems I'm facing because of being gay are just experiences that will give lessons to me. Life will be very different once I take the pill, people around me will change their attitude towards me. Some will come, some will go. And you know I really hate goodbyes. With the things said, I don't think taking the pill will give me the real happiness and contentment I've been dreaming of. From there, I'll whole-heartedly not take the pill. Thank you so much. Charot.

You, will you take it?

KSGB. :-)

Stress Drilon

Grabe, it's been a while na pala since I last posted here. Actually, wala pa kong post for this year, technically. My only post was last January which was a repost lang. Omg, where will I start? Uhhhmm, I've been busy these past few months sa work. Yes! Believe it or not, I've been working here and there for the past weeks. Nalipat kase ako ng team. Dun nagsimula ang kalbaryo ko. Char!

For the whole 2012, I've never worked directly with my manager. Laging sa TL lang kami dumidiretso. Tapos wala pa masyadong binibigay na tasks sakin dati kaya laging maluwag ang sched ko. I can have a lunch for two hours then I'll leave the office early to go out with my friends. Pero hindi na pwede yun ngayon! Kaloka. There was a re-assignment last January. Yung senior samin, nagkaron ng sariling project and she proposed to my boss na ako na lang yung pumalit sa kanya to continue the things she left off. It's a very good opportunity for me kase alam ko na mas maganda and mas mahirap yung ipapagawa sakin. I'm sure madami akong matututunan. 

Nahirapan akong mag-adjust sa simula. Masyadong high-level yung mga work then after that, magiging low-level. Kelangang mag-adjust. Wala akong ibang kausap sa team except for my manager. Palagian ko siyang ka-e-mail for the updates sa status ng project/s. We started to coordinate with each other na hindi naman namin nagagawa dati dahil I have no business with him and vice versa kase nga TL ko lang yung kausap ko lagi. Time came na hindi na lang basta basta updates ng kung anik anik(documents, estimates, etc.) yung ginagawa ko kundi update na ng actual work. Dito nagsimula yung kalbaryo ko.

Harsh magsalita yung boss ko. Hindi niya lang ata alam. Me issue dito sa company na kaya hindi tumataas yung position niya is because of his attitude. Ok fine, manager siya pero when you compare him sa mga kasabayan niya, yung iba, AVP na, meron pang VP. Kumusta naman. Madami na din akong nakakwentuhan na nagrereklamo sa ugali niya. Akala ko nga dati nag-iinarte lang ako. Akala ko sensitive lang ako. Ever since kase, hindi ko na feel yung manager ko. Sa interview pa lang nun para sa deployment sa company nila, badtrip na badtrip na ako paglabas ko ng building. Noon lang kase ako nakatagpo ng professional na asal squatter. Charot! Eh kase naman no! Nilait pa niya yung company namin. Kaloka siya.

Worst thing I experienced sa kanya eh yung he said to me while on the phone, "Ano ba 'tong gawa mo?! Ibabasura lang 'to ng makakabasa eh!". Shet diba, parang hindi nag-aral! Napakagat labi na lang ako. Aminado naman ako na medyo kulang yung output ko. Pero the fact na nagsisimula pa lang ako sa mga ganung uri ng tasks, tapos tinulungan pa ko nung senior ko para maproduce yung output na yun, tapos yun lang matatanggap ko. Nakakaloka talaga siya. Sana inintindi niya muna na nagsisimula pa lang ako sa ganun kahirap na work. Hindi man lang siya nagbigay ng benefit of the doubt. Meron pang mga incidents na muntik na niya akong mapaiyak sa sobrang harsh niya magsalita, buti na lang sa phone lang yun. Pano pa kung sa personal. Nasa 46th floor kase siya. Eh nalipat ako sa 29th nitong 2013. Mabuti na lang talaga nalipat na ko. Parang hindi ko ata kakayanin na sisigaw-sigawan niya ako sa harap ng madaming tao. It's so embarrassing, you know! Hahaha.

Pero feeling ko naman, me tinatago pa ding kabaitan 'tong si bossing. Sobrang tago nga lang. Naka-lock sa isang treasure chest deep inside his heart tapos nawala na yung susi. Hahahahahahahahaha. Charot lang. Me mga times naman kase na malumanay niya akong kinakausap. Mga .0007% of the time, ganyan. Charot lang. Dagdagan natin, mga .0008%. Charot ulet. Hahahahaha. Seriously, ayun nga me mga instances naman na mabait siya. Mas madami nga lang yung masungit siya. Madalas ko nga siyang nakukwento sa friends ko. Sa sobrang inis ko, kung ano ano nasasabi ko. Lahat ng negative sa boss ko nakwento ko na. Like nangangamot ng tiyan during the meeting tapos yung ngipin niya anlaki laki. Hahahaha. Ang bad ko, sheyt! Hahahaha. 

But honestly, maganda yung experience ko sa work ngayon, maganda yung opportunity na binibigay sakin tapos andami dami kong natututunan. Nakakagawa na ko ng mga tasks na pang-seniors. Yun nga lang talaga, mukhang hindi ko matatagalan yung boss ko. 80% ata ng stress ko, sa kanya galing. LOL. Kaya nag-a-apply ako sa ibang company nowadays. Malaking factor si bossing tsaka yung kaliitan ng sahod ko sa paghahanap ko ng new work. Kumusta naman kase yung wala pa sa kalahati ng minimum yung sahod ko. CHAR! Charot lang. Baka magkatotoo. Hahahaha. Nito ngang bago mag-Holy Week, nakailang apply ako, pero karamihan sablay. Rare kase yung capability ko tapos konti lang din yung naghahanap. Kapag bumalik naman ako sa dati kong capability, nahihirapan akong magsinungaling sa interviewer na gusto ko yun. Sa sobrang honest ko, nabe-blurt out ko during interview na mas gusto ko yung work ko ngayon. Ayun, sablay agad. Hahaha.

Sa ngayon, eto, medyo busy pa din sa work. Kakatapos ko lang sa isang task na pinagawa sakin ni manager. Naka-ilang revision ako sa kaartehan niya. Akala mo naman maganda yung output kapag siya yung gumawa. Che! Hahaha. Gosh, buong post ko, puro work talaga. Eh kase wala gaanong sigla yung social life ko. Lalo na yung lovelife! Hahaha. Mahaba na 'tong post ko. Magkwento ulit ako next time. Mga August, ganyan. Charot. Pipilitin kong mag-post kahit mukhang wala namang nagbabasa nito. Hahahaha.

KSGB! :-) 

Final Bow for 2012

Every start of the year since I started this blog, eto na yung post ko so bear with it. Medyo edited naman siya ng konting konti. Hahaha. This is a re-post. :-)

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Parang kelan lang, nagpapakahirap ako sa pagaaral. Overnight dito, walang tulugan duon. Defense ngayon, defense ulit bukas. Parang kelan lang, takot na takot akong isipin na baka hindi na kami magkita ni Covin. Parang kelan lang, kinakabahan ako kung gagraduate ba ako o hindi. Parang kelan lang, inaabot ko ang kunwaring diploma ko. Parang kelan lang, halos maiyak ako ng isa isa nang nagkaroon ng trabaho ang mga kaibigan at batchmates ko at ako ay wala pa. Parang kelan lang, nagkaroon ng problema sa health ko kaya hindi ako nakapasok sa unang dalawang araw dito sa kumpanya. Parang kelan lang, nahihirapan akong magadjust sa mga bagong tao at bagong kapaligiran.  Parang kelan lang, natanggap ko ang unang sahod ko, gumimik at nagpakasaya hanggang ito'y maubos. Parang kelan lang nang una ko siyang makita at magsimula ang kilig na nararamdaman ko. Parang kelan lang nang nakabili ako ng isang mahal na bagay na galing sa bulsa ko. Parang kelan lang.

Hay. Napakabilis talaga. Pero wala naman tayong magagawa diba? Nariyan na yan. Hindi na natin maibabalik. Hindi na natin mababago kung ano ang mga nangyari na. So better face the new chapter with a smile and confidence. Pagsisihan ang mga nagawang pagkakamali at gumawa ng paraan para ito ay maituwid. Pagbutihin pang lalo ang mga bagay na nakakatulong sa kapwa. Iwasan ang mga mali. 

Hindi ako gumagawa ng New Year's Resolution kase naniniwala ako na kung me dapat kang baguhin sa sarili mo, gawin mo na ito agad kung maaari. Hindi yung hihintayin mo pa ang Bagong Taon para duon magsimula. Paano kung mga March mo narealize na kelangan mong baguhin ang mga masasama mong gawi, hihintayin mo pa ba yung January 1 the next year para lang masabi na me New Year's Resolution ka. Parang tanga lang diba. Lol.

Napakadaming blessings ang natanggap ko this year at hindi ko alam kung paano ko magpapasalamat ang Diyos dahil dito. Madami din akong narealize na mga bagay na dapat kong ipagpasalamat. Thank you po so much Father God.

Anyways, madami akong planong gawin next year. Grabe, taghirap talaga ako nowadays kaya sinabi ko sa sarili ko na magiipon talaga ako ng bonggang bongga. Hindi muna ko bibili ng mga bagay na meron pa naman ako. Kelangan ko ding masettle lahat ng utang na meron ako. Hay. Ang hindi ko lang mapipigilan is yung mga nakaschedule ko ng lakad. LOL. Diyan ako mahinang kumontrol. Hahaha. Promise, after niyan, hindi na muna ako magyayaya at magpapayaya. Kelangan ko talagang magipon. Me quota pa nga ako eh. Dapat me ganito ganyan na akong amount of money in this certain date. LOL.    

Andami ko ding non-tangible hopes para sa susunod na taon. And here's the list. 

  

LIFE- Unang una siyempre ang buhay. Ano ba naman kaseng mangyayari sayo kung wala kang buhay no. Hindi lang yan yung simpleng buhay. Kasama na diyan yung social life. Imaginine mo na lang no kung buhay ka nga, wala ka namang kaibigan o kahit kakwentuhan man lang. Naniniwala ako sa kasabihan na "No man is an island". Sino ba naman kaseng tao ang kayang maging isla! ECHOS! Seriously speaking, all throughout my life. Kinailangan ko ng pamilya at mga kaibigan para mabuhay. Kayo rin naman dbah! Aminin!

LOVE- Sunod naman ang pagmamahal. Kinikilig ako sa tuwing makakakita ng couple. Dati, naiinggit ako't naiiyak kase lagi kong naiisip na hindi mangyayari sakin yon pero ngayon, nabuksan na yung isip ko na kahet walang taong magmahal sa akin, ok lang kase alam kong nandiyan lang si Papa God. =) Hindi Niya ko pababayaan. And I'm very sure of that!

HEALTH- Next is health. Paano mo naman maeenjoy ang buhay at pagmamahal na ibinibigay sayo kung nakaratay ka lang sa kama at hindi makapagsalita o kaya comatosed ka na. Naiinis ako sa mga taong pinapabayaan ang health nila. Isa na ko dyan. Lol. Isa din ang tatay ko. Inom kase siya ng inom ng alak. Pero pinapabayaan ko na lang. Magaaway lang kase kami. Sabi din kase ng bestfriend ko, hayaan ko na lang daw kase yun na lang yung nakakapagpaligaya sa kanya. Matagal ko bago natanggap yung konsepto na yun pero di naglaon, pinractice ko na din kesa naman magaway lang kame ng bonggang bongga.

  

PEACE- Tulad ng lahat ng tao, isa yan sa matagal ko na talagang pinapanalangin. Hindi lang sakop ng sinasabi kong kapayapaan ang kapayapaan sa pagitan ng mga bansa, nasyon o ng bawat tao kundi ang kapayapaan sa bawat tao mismo. Yung tipong walang alalahanin sa puso. Kasama na din diyan ang pagkakapantay pantay. Yung walang diskriminasyon. Sa kulay man, hitsura, lahi or even, syempre, sa kasarian. Matagal ko ng pinapangarap na mawala ang mga diskriminasyon na iyan lalung lalo na siyempre yung huli. Iniimagine ko tuloy kung anung hitsura ng mundo kung wala lahat yan. Hay!

PROSPERITY- At last but definitely not the least ang kasaganahan. Sapat na pagkain sa mesa, perang panggastos sa buong taon, oras sa pamilya, trabaho.

Ansarap imaginine na ang mundo natin ay punong puno ng mga nabanaggit. Punong puno ng buhay ang mundo, lahat ng tao ay nagmamahalan, malusog ang mga mamamayan, walang away at kalungkutan, naguumapaw sa kasaganahan. Hay. Kelan kaya mangyayari yon. Sana next year na. Magtulong tulong tayong lahat. Walang imposible sa mata Niya. Kaya natin yan. Kahit paunti unti. Sure ako na magagawa natin yan basta me tulungan. Tara na!

Again, Happy Christmas! Mabuhay tayong lahat. May all of us have a New Year full of LIFE, LOVE, HEALTH, PEACE and PROSPERITY. 

Ingats guys!  Huwag na tayong magpaputok! Godbless to all of us!  =)  :-)  =)  :-)  =)  :-)  =)  :-)